Evidence Against Space Jesus [Interview]

**TRIGGER WARNING: THEMES OF SEXUAL ASSAULT/ STATUTORY RAPE**

This article has been proofed by Our Music Our Body to ensure the content is trauma-informed and sensitive to survivors. 

We’re not here to debate claims of statutory rape, sexual assault and abuse of power by Jasha Tull, more widely known as Space Jesus. This article can’t teach empathy. This is an article about community, self-care and moving forward.

On March 20, 2020, an Instagram account was launched that featured screenshots of testimonies from varying social media platforms against Jasha Tull. The centralization of information, once scattered about, caused a shift in the discussion around Space Jesus, his “crazy ex” and abuse of power. 

Founder of @evidenceagainstspacejesus, as well as a victim, turned survivor, of Tull is Caeli La. 

“I want victims of abuse to know society is on their side more than ever now,” said Caeli. “Both socially and legally, they have a better chance than ever to be heard, and for their abusers to be held accountable,” 

Caeli’s courage to speak up was partly inspired by Maya Angelou, a renowned memoirist, poet, civil-rights activist and sexual assault survivor. She quoted the poet, saying  “there is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”

She related to Angelou when it came to speaking out on the pain she had endured over the last four years. She says “It was hard to come forward, but it would have been infinitely harder to live with these untold stories forever, keeping them hidden and buried inside.” 

Community
Caeli did not expect the account to take off as it did. She wasn’t sure anyone would care, because she had shown the same evidence to Tull’s friends, managers, promoters and others who continued supporting him.

“For so long, I imagined that this would all be over once I finally shared my story. I didn’t realize that in many ways, it would be a new beginning,” said Caeli. 

The account launch included Caeli’s story and ten other testimonies of abuse she had collected from varying social media and comment threads. In the past, Caeli’s story had been met with denial, public defamation and smear campaigns. In the month following the launch, 37 other witnesses and victims came forward. 

“It was incredibly healing and validating to have thousands of ‘strangers’ care enough to make a huge impact, and start a whole movement,” said Caeli.  “It’s phenomenal to see the ripple effect from my Instagram account spread throughout the music industry, and around the world. I’ve gotten messages from people in the UK, Australia, Bangladesh, the Netherlands, etc., saying they were inspired to speak out about abusers in their local music scenes because of it.”

She credited the traction on the Instagram account — a month following its launch — to the Black Lives Matter movement, catalyzed by the death of George Floyd. The momentum for these movements has yet to cease, as people continue to demand social justice and accountability. 

“BLM inspired people to take action on an unprecedented level — becoming the largest civil rights movement in world history,” Caeli shared. “I think as a result, people were more willing than ever to stand with the victims because BLM opened their eyes and motivated them to get more active and educated.

The experience taught Caeli to be more discerning about who she lets in, who her real friends are, and who to keep close. One particular friend on the journey has been Dia, whose testimony against Tull inspired Caeli to speak up.

“Since then, she has taught me so much about strength, courage, truth-telling and demon-slaying,” said Caeli. “In many of the worst, most difficult moments of this whole process, talking with her and channeling her energy helped get me through it.”

The Beginning
Caeli’s claims against Tull date back to June 2016. In 2017, Tull had re-established contact with Caeli when they were booked at two of the same festivals. She did not want to spend time with him and denied his offer to meet up. He then threatened to update his contract to ban her from any event he played, and to have her fired under false claims that she was a “deranged stalker.”

Caeli’s interactions or potential interactions with Tull caused her to experience symptoms of PTSD, which included vomiting and shaking. She performed at one of the two festivals, and then her performance career came to an end. Caeli had danced professionally at shows and festivals across the US and Canada on a regular basis from 2013-2017.

The public first caught wind of Tull’s actions in 2018 when tweets surfaced accusing Datsik, born Troy Beetles, and Tull of inappropriate actions against minors on their tour. Dancing Astronaut kept readers informed in real-time as Datsik deleted tweets and the artists made statements. Tull’s statement denounced any rumors that involved him with Beetles’ actions. Beetles neither confirmed nor denied the rumors and instead canceled the rest of the tour. 

Currently, the article is titled: “Datsik accused of multiple sexual assaults, issues statement, cancels all upcoming performances.” 

At one point, an update included the removal of “Space Jesus” from the headline. The first half of the original headline can still be read on the internet browser tab. It is unclear at which point  “Space Jesus” was removed from the title or why the editor chose to disassociate Tull’s actions from Beetles.

Perfect Harmony reached out for a statement, but neither the author nor the editor were still with the publication. Dancing Astronaut commented that it was, “likely to reflect that the accusations were largely against Datsik, making him the focus of the story, with little, or considerably less evidence against Space Jesus.”

Internal Accountability
Caeli tried routes for internal accountability with Tull and his management team long before the launch of the Instagram account.

One attempt for accountability was when Tull was booked for DanceSafe’s #WeLoveConsent show. The benefit concert shortly followed the cancellation of Datsik’s tour. Caeli contacted DanceSafe with concerns of a newly risen testimony of statutory rape on Tull’s Facebook post, which he had left unaddressed.  The prevention organization agreed it was an issue that needed to be discussed further.

Caeli forwarded the e-mail to Tull. The two then had one-on-one communication, which left her feeling “confident that he was doing the work to take responsibility and make amends.” He asked if he could make amends to her on Monday following the consent benefit. As a result, Caeli retracted her statement to DaceSafe, and the show went on. 

The benefit served as a perfect “virtue-signaling” opportunity for Tull. Psychology Today describes virtue-signaling as being “for self-promotion, rather than to help others.” When an abuser partakes in virtue-signaling, also known as moral grandstanding, they simultaneously gaslight and silence their victims by pandering for the community’s support.

DanceSafe has since rightfully denounced its relationship with Tull and published information on power dynamics in collaboration with Good Night Out Vancouver.

Caeli also tried to communicate with Tull’s management team, which resulted in some dialogue, but ultimately led to silencing. Caeli gave it one last shot — she told Tull’s management team she would soon post her testimony and to “let her know if they had any issues with it.” She said, “I was confident that they wouldn’t because they knew I was telling the truth.”  

However, Caeli was met with a cease and desist letter, a folder of her tantra massage ads, and a statement falsely characterizing her as an escort.

“I’ve only posted ads for tantra massage,” Caeli said. “And every ad I’ve ever posted has a legal disclaimer, making it clear that I am not an escort.”

The most concerning part of the last-ditch effort to silence Caeli is that it implied that being a sex worker invalidated her claims of sexual abuse. Dr. Zahra Stardust brings to light that these types of attacks are not unheard of by abusers. In a 2017 article, Dr. Stardust explained how the media’s depiction of sex work and our culture’s discrimination against sex workers inhibits them from accessing justice, health care and community. 

Sex work does not excuse abuse, nor should it change the public’s perception of a person’s experienced abuse. 

Tull’s “Evidence Folder”
Once the account took off, Tull posted a long-winded statement that explained how Caeli’s claim against him “defies logic” and how she was “taking advantage of her ability to ruin my life.” Tull had attached screenshots and illegally recorded phone calls of his communications with Caeli as well.

At the top of page three, Tull stated that he had read the multiple testimonies of his abuse on the @evidenceagainstspacejesus account through a friend’s Instagram. This is what compelled him to speak up about his and Caeli’s history and explain that it was just another attempt “to ruin my career and personal life.” This is Tull’s only mention of the other testimonies, from so many different people, in the three-page statement. 

He concluded the statement with a promise to address the allegations in a live AMA on Instagram “in the spirit of full transparency.”

Before Caeli read the files, she experienced the same vomiting and shaking she had back in 2017 for over 20 minutes — to the point where she feared she would have to go to the hospital. Once she brought herself to look through his “evidence folder” and forwarded it to her attorney, she discovered that Tull had only created a stronger case for her, not against. 

In the AMA, he received a lot of questions from viewers about statutory rape — particularly the claim shared on his Facebook post after Datsik’s demise in 2018. He fumbled over his words, ignored the questions, and tried to remind viewers he had performed at the #WeLoveConsent benefit. After the AMA, he addressed statutory rape in a second statement.

Well, not really. 

He seemed mistaken by which instance of statutory rape. Tull outed himself for being with a minor in Oklahoma. He claimed the minor had lied about her age. He also claimed he didn’t break any laws because the age of consent is 16 in Oklahoma; but it was later confirmed that the incident occurred in Knoxville, TN. He also seemed to be unaware that the age of consent in Oklahoma only extends to people 4 years older than the 16-year-old. At the time of the alleged statutory rape, Tull was 32 years old.

Legality does not equate to morality. Regardless of which instance  — Tull was in his early 30s when it happened. Maggie Arthur, the Campaign Coordinator of Our Music My Body, says “However, age is only one part of the problem. Knowing that sexual violence is ultimately a crime of power and control, Tull’s version of the story totally ignores the fact that he had so much power over his young fans.”

If she doesn’t have a VHS collection and never used a walkman, she’s too young for you, bro.

Fans
For Caeli, the most difficult part about coming forward with her story was the mobs of angry fans every time prominent friends of Tull attacked her.

“I’m 31, and most of Jasha’s fans are 16-25ish,” Caeli said. “I keep having to remind myself that a lot of these people are literal children, who don’t know anything about me or what I’ve been through, and their opinions truly don’t matter.”

Caeli would receive death threats and repeated messages to kill herself during what she called “already the most difficult time of my life.” She was able to disprove the false claims that circulated online, particularly from Yheti, a producer and close friend of Tull, born Tyler Holler. Regardless, the harmful messages continued to flow in.

In relation to the Instagram account, Hollar wrote a contradicting Facebook post about the need to believe and protect survivors, while continuing to frame Caeli as an abuser who had hurt more people than Tull. On the bright side, he endorses Tull’s fall from fame by saying, “I personally believe idolization and fame is unhealthy, and him losing his ‘celebrity’ status because of these claims is going to be great for his health as a person.” 

“If they actually read all the evidence I posted, and still decided to defend Jasha and Yheti and/or attack me, then I don’t know how they sleep at night.” said, Caeli. “They’re not the kind of person whose opinion matters to me, if they can read 38 individual stories about Jasha’s long-standing patterns of abuse, and still defend him and/or attack his victims.” 

Self-Care
Being present and in the moment has been Caeli’s key to self-care. This comes in the form of spending time with her boyfriend, animals, babies, and out in nature.

“Making the effort to get out of my head, and be in my body, is key. Since this all blew up, I only feel peaceful when I can tear myself away from the phone,” she said. “Simple tasks like cooking, cleaning, gardening, stretching, doing the dishes, playing with dogs and my best friend’s toddler have helped me stay grounded and centered the most.” 

As Caeli is not the first to experience abuse from a high profile artist, she has been able to draw inspiration and support from Lauryn Hill, particularly “Superstar,” the first track off her record-breaking album, “The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill.”

“It must have been written after an abusive relationship with someone just like Jasha. I can’t get over how ridiculously on point and relevant the lyrics are, 20 years after she wrote them,” says Caeli.

Runnin’ red lights with my ten thousand chariots

Just as Christ was a Superstar, you stupid, star!

They’ll hail you then nail you, no matter who you are 

They’ll make you now then take you down, and make you face it

 If you slit the bag open, put your pinky in it and taste it.

“Superstar” by Lauryn Hill

 

Moving Forward
Producer and friend of Caeli, @ill-esha, told her “I feel like I’m in a club right after the lights have gone up, and people suddenly look ugly and desperate.” A modern take on Carl Jung’s infamous quote, “The brighter the light, the darker the shadow.”

“When such primal and sacred parts of our lives — music, art, and community — are damaged by individualist, capitalist, rape culture, it feels uniquely heartbreaking and brutal,” said Caeli. 

The National Sexual Assault Resource Center, says that sexual violence is rooted in oppression, traditional masculinity, a culture that condones violence and lack of respect for others. These are not unique problems to this generation or the EDM scene. These issues do, though, cut a little deeper when the community claims to be based on peace, love, unity and respect. 

“In the EDM/festival community, where we are united by the feeling of spiritual communion found in music, dance, art, and substances, it’s important to remember that the safe spaces we create at shows and festivals can also easily become the ideal environment for predators,” shared Caeli.

Caeli hopes that people will continue to use this time, no longer distracted by the fog and lasers, to take action and re-envision the music scene’s return. To truly make it safe for all, we need to continue to hold abusers accountable; encourage inclusivity and diversification on the lineups; train staff, security and crew to identify and prevent sexual abuse and offer consent education.

For anyone who has been a victim of sexual assault and is seeking help, we encourage you to visit RAINN.org for 24/7 support via its online chat or via its hotline at 800-656-HOPE.

 

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